Life after you, these wounds won't seem to heal
by No Fate 1990
Summary: In the aftermath of Lucky's death, Sawyer displays violent behavior and Aiden is stuck in the crossfire. Lucas and Peyton struggle to come with terms with their loss.Reviews are welcome.
1. Lord, I'm ready now

Song: Lord I'm ready now by Plumb

I just let go and I feel exposed but its so beautiful cause this is who I am I've been such a mess now I can't care less I could bleed to death

Lucky: Blossoming growth, unstoppable external force, going to a place far beyond earth's atmosphere. Requiem for a pipe dream, false hope, a dying heart without a pulse. Off you go again to elsewhere. Wide awake, I finally know the truth. This first last breath of life maybe brief, but at least death is out of reach. Hold me tight and give me some relief, time.

Lord I'm ready now, all the walls are down time is running out and I want to make this count, I ran away from you and I did what I wanted to but I don't want to let you down, Lord I'm ready now, Lord I'm ready now

Sawyer: Crossroads, lingering roadblocks and insecurities. In the dark, momentary moments of weakness, ballads of pain and confusion. A complicated unfinished puzzle, blueprints of a life gone way too soon, echoes of desperation and lost passion. A bittersweet revelation, unforeseen circumstance, the wonderful unknown depths of the ocean. Your fate, one delicate state of well-being. Unidentified unconsecrated secret holy place of worship, this broken union. Empty vacant breathing space, revisited old memories.

I was so caught up in who I'm not can you please forgive me?

Peyton: Wasting away prematurely, hope's heartbeat, a ghostly being without a specific meaning. These hard to hold open hands, holograms of what used to be, ill-fated stars. Sacrificial love, effortless beauty. Enchanted eyes, damaged goods, easily broken bridges of communication. Silhouettes, irrecoverable missed moments. Rejected notions, escapable muse of mine.

Lord I'm ready now, all the walls are down time is running out and I want to make this count, I ran away from you and I did what I wanted to but I don't want to let you down, Lord I'm ready now, Lord I'm ready now

Lucas: Stationary motion, these words left unsaid between us. Hanging, holding onto your promises, here I go again. Only time knows how long I can stay in this position. Wait patiently, I tell my bleeding heart. Always and forever, you remain missing in action. I continue to be loyal and kind toward you. Take me back to the start when everything was fireproof. A moment to completely breakaway is right now or maybe not. Keep the faith, keep me in your heart for a while. Even though we are drifting apart, I still wish you goodluck.

I've nothing left to hide, no reasons left to lie, give me another chance

Lucky: Lukewarm touch, unique mind out of body experience, keep me longing for more. Exceptionally bright bonfire, endless supernatural high, painless unearthly desire. Echoes of passion and devotion, a divine visitation. Calmness before and after life's storms, effortless merciful grace.

Lord I'm ready now, all the walls are down time is running out and I want to make this count, I ran away from you and I did what I wanted to but I don't want to let you down, Lord I'm ready now, Lord I'm ready now

Sawyer: Breakthrough the clouds that surround my world, Lord. Annoyed, impatient and irritable, I need an encouraging word fast. Confusion leads me down the wrong path where my faith remains shaken. Karma is a sword through my heart. A light bulb goes off in my head. Rude awakening describes my good morning wake up call. My ultimate solution, my last hope, sweet relief. A divine guidance, God's compass. Infinite wise counsel, common sense, Artificial intelligence. Messy misunderstandings, mental roadblocks, bittersweet necessary sacrifices. Endless voiceless empty hallways, dissolving disfunctional hard to understand complicated musical notes. Sorrowful lost wandering spirits, special slow little turtle brains. A smooth progression toward success, calmness in the middle of a storm. Radiant warm bonfire, a candle yet to be burnt out, a sweet smelling aroma. Eternal peace, inward reflection, retrospection. Dazzling bewilderment, echoes of past future lives, these gentle soft cold hands.


	2. Irony

Date: 8-11-2027

Sawyer's Point of view

Here I sit in the hospital waiting room burying myself in my grief. I am crying over the loss of my sister and best friend, Lucky Haley Scott. Earlier in the day, Lucky had

been involved in a school shooting at One Tree Hill , a gunshot to the heart took her out of the world and she never gave me the time of day. Meanwhile, on the other

part of the country, I was adjusting my life to being a college freshman at Harvard. I received a very heartbreaking phone call from my mom during History Class. Mom

told me that Lucky had been involved in a school shooting and she was admitted into the hospital. Within a heartbeat, I took the first plane out of Boston to One Tree

Hill after History Class was over. Anxious, my stomach was in knots during the whole entire plane ride. When I arrived in Tree Hill, my dad greeted me with an embrace

and my soul weighed heavy in his arms. In silence, we made our way to the hospital where we reunited with my mom and other family members. Unbreakable, silence

is now killing me in the present time as I sit here in the hospital waiting room. My lips find it hard to form words that will describe how I feel, therefore I stay confined

to my thoughts. Among all people in the world, Lily brings out the worst in me. Lily claims to be my aunt, but she doesn't look old enough to be my aunt. Lily is around

my age so I just call her my cousin. "Thank God, the retard is finally dead. The world is be much better without Lucky" Lily whispers as she sits down in a chair beside

me. Reopening old wounds, she is asking and begging for a beat down, a butt whipping. Since Lucky's murderer is dead as the result of suicide, I pour out all of my

anger on Lily. "Lily, what the hell?" standing up, I confront Lily on behalf of Lucky. I hate Lily because she doesn't have any sympathy for my now deceased sister who

had Down's Syndrome. "Dude, what is your problem?" offended, Lily shouts back at me as she pushes me down on the floor. Still angry, I then get back on my feet and

punch Lily in the face. "Bitch, you are my problem" hysterical, I yell repeatedly punching and kicking her until the point of bloodshed. Skylar, Lydia and Jamie remain in

their seats out of fear that they may be punished if they joined in the fight. It takes the strength of my dad, Uncle Nathan and Grandpa Andy to break Lily and me

apart. I am bleeding so much that I am almost unrecognizable and yet noone comes to my defense. The five more maturer women in my life including my own mother

stares at me in disbelief and sadness. I am overcome with so much guilt that I have the need to break away from them before they can crucify me. Crying, I run out of

the building into the dark coldhearted world where I continue to travel down a path of self destruction. My pretty face is all over the place, but I still refuse to allow

anyone to take away my breathing space. I am running away from everything that is holding me back from reaching the sky, its sort of like a self liberation. I hit a few

road blocks meaning speeding cars in the street and yet I still remain unharmed. In the end, the material things of this world don't really matter. All roads lead to Rome

meaning my house in which will be my resting place forever.


	3. Atonement

Date: 8-11-2027

Lucas' Point of View

I walk through the front door of my house and a spirit of depression greets me. Reality bites me in the one place where it hurts the most, my soul. The gloomy

atmosphere in the house gives way to my tears and enlarges the hole that is forming in my heart. My house doesn't feel like a home anymore and I find it hard to breathe

in this place that I used to call my home. For no apparent good reason, Aidan starts crying and I assume the evil spirits that are torturing me at the moment are the same

ones messing around with him as well. "Come here, little one" Peyton whispers taking baby Aidan out of my arms. I am like doesn't she see me falling apart here, I am

the one who needs to be comforted. "Just breathe, Luke, things will get better" Peyton promises me taking my hand in hers and I believe her for once in my life. As usual,

we go our separate ways and I forget that she is living in the house because we are so busy with living our own lives. I make my way upstairs and the sound of classical

music coming from Lucky's room gives me goosebumps all over my body. Lucky used to love listening to classical music. I walk into the room and I catch Sawyer sitting

down at a desk reading her sister's journal. I assume Sawyer must've ran home after the incident at the hospital and used her house key to get herself into the house.

"Sawyer Brooke Scott, you are not suppose to be in here meaning Lucky's room. You do have a room, remember?" I remind her. "I haven't destroyed any of

Lucky's possessions so I don't understand why I can't be in here" Sawyer argues. "Just because" choked up, I stutter and my eighteen year old daughter is silent for a

moment. "Anyway, Sawyer, why did you get into a fight with Lily at the hospital?" I continued. "Dad, Lily called Lucky a retard" crying, Sawyer confesses bringing tears to

my eyes. "Lily knows nothing, you should've ignored her. Just because Lucky had special needs, it didn't make her a a retard. She was only just sixteen years old, she

didn't deserve to die" emotional, I disclosed walking out of the room to deal with my grief alone. Peyton is the only person in the world who can fix me whenever I am

feeling vulnerable. I search for her throughout the house, but I can't find her or Aidan anywhere. Thirsty, I go downstairs into the kitchen to get a beer out of the

refrigerator. I find a hand written note from Peyton on the counter saying she and Aidan were over Brooke's house.


	4. Maternal

Date: 8-11-2027

Peyton's Point of view

Emmanuel and Aidan are watching sponge bob the square pants while Brooke and I are looking through old photo albums in the den. "OH My God, True was so cute as a

baby" I point out looking at an old baby picture of Brooke's deceased daughter, True Elizabeth Davis. Even to this day, I don't understand how a beautiful girl such as

True can feel unloved and commit suicide. "You took that picture soon after she was born, remember?" Brooke reminds me. "I do remember that I was with you in the

delivery room when she was born" I recollect. "Giving birth hurt like hell, but I got through it all with your help. You made me feel like superwoman back then" Brooke

reminisced. "I can't have anymore babies due to the complications that happened during True's birth. She was breached, I do recall" she added with sadness in her voice.

"You were raped and thats how you got True. You were like twenty years old at the time. I wish more people like Victoria could've supported you when you were

pregnant with True" remorseful, I cry. "I was indeed an ordinary girl trapped in an extraordinary circumstance. I tried my best to make something positive to come out of

the situation" Brooke sobs. Frightened by the sight of seeing Brooke crying, three year old Emmanuel approaches Brooke and embraces her. "Mommy, please don't cry"

choked up, Emmanuel begs Brooke and Brooke slowly makes attempts to be happy for his sake. Emmanuel kisses Brooke and then returns back to watching television in

which makes me to be happy for a moment. "I never imagined there would come a day that we would be in the same position concerning child loss. I am getting tired of

talking about myself. I want you to share your feelings with me" Brooke pressures me. All of a sudden the flood gates open and my life is an open book for my best friend

to read from beginning to end. Soon I will have to start making funeral plans and I don't know how I will able to survive the next twenty four hours. I keep on reminding

myself to just breathe for things will get better eventually.


	5. Attachment

Scene: Lucas' Flashback

Date: 5-19-2011

Situation: Post Lucky's birth. Peyton and Lucas are celebrating their second wedding anniversary

Scene 1: Morning- Peyton and Lucas' room-Peyton and Lucas are lying in the bed

Lucas(removing a strand of hair away from Peyton's face): Happy anniversary

Peyton (kissing Kyle): I love you

Lucas (with a smirk): I love you too

Peyton (listening to the baby monitor): The baby is crying and so begins my day

Lucas(complaining): What about me?

Peyton(getting out of bed to put on some clothes): You will always have a piece of me with you

Lucas (with a smirk): You're right

Peyton(leaving the room to go to the nursery): I will talk to you later

Scene 2: The Nursery-Lucas discovers Peyton is changing Lucky's diaper in the nursery. Lucky is four months old.

Peyton (putting a new diaper on lucky ): I can't believe it has already been four months

Lucas (looking at Lucky): Lucky is surely growing up fast

Peyton: She will be one before I know it

Lucas: I wish that she can be a baby forever

Peyton(with sadness in her voice): I remember the time when we struggled to have another baby

Lucas: Thank God, those times are over

Peyton(holding Lucky close to her chest): I love you so much, little one

Lucas: I know that Lucky has down's syndrome, but I still love her anyway

(All of a sudden, baby Lucky cooes making Lucas and Peyton laugh for a moment)

Scene: Reality

Date: 8-17-2027

Situation: Lucky's funeral-The cemetery- Burial

Haley James Scott(singing): In the arms of arms of the angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. You are in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here.

Sawyer(listening to Haley singing, she starts crying): Haley makes me want to cry

Lucas(choked up, he pulls Sawyer close to his body): Come over here, baby, you can lean on me

Brooke(crying, she pulls Peyton close to her body): I am here for you, Peyton, you can cry on my shoulder

Peyton(sobbing, she leans her head against Brooke's shoulder): Thanks

Pastor(preaching to the congregation): Death is not the end, it is only just the beginning of our lives in heaven

-Peyton's Flashback-

Date: 7-4-2010

Situation: Peyton discovers that she is pregnant with Lucky

Scene: Morning-Lucas and Peyton's bedroom-Lucas and Peyton are laying in the bed

Lucas(removing a strand of hair away from Peyton's face): Good morning, sweetheart

Peyton(wrapping her arms around Lucas' body): What is on your agenda for today, Luke?

Lucas(getting out of bed to put on some clothes): I am going to spend my time at River Court shooting some hoops

Peyton(smiling): I am happy for you

Lucas(kissing Peyton): I love you

Peyton(feeling unwell): I am starting to develop a flu or something. Lately, I have been gaining a little bit of weight.

Lucas(touching Peyton's stomach): Peyton, you might be with child. It takes two people to tangle, do you know what I mean?

Peyton(laughing): definitely

Lucas(hopeful): We have been trying to have a baby for a very long time. Its about time that Sawyer had a playmate. Today might be the day when our lives will change forever.

Peyton(praying): Hopefully, we will experience a miracle today

Lucas(kissing Peyton's forehead): I love you

(Lucas then walks out of the room leaving behind Peyton who is starting to experience morning sickness. Nauseous, Peyton gets out of bed and runs to the bathroom where she vomits in the toilet. She gets out a newly brought pregnancy test from underneath the sink cabinet. Anxious, Peyton urinates on the stick and waits for the test results. The test results come out to be positive and Peyton cries tears of joy instead of sorrow because she is indeed pregnant.)


	6. Longing

Date: 8-17-2027

Sawyer's Point of view

Life is death is life,

your first breath of life

becomes your last breath.

You can no longer hide

behind your fashion.

You thirst for Jesus with

an undying passion in

which can only be obtained

through death. Unpredictable,

life is just whatever, but never

say never. The end is the

beginning is the end for you,

my beloved friend. You are

like a bird, you are with me

one day and then gone the

next day. Your thoughts are

out of this world and noone

can bring you back down to

earth. The deepest parts of

you that I will never get a

chance to experience now

belong to the lord. Rebirth

is a word that I would use

to describe your new found

freedom. Lucky, I hope you will

have yourself a homecoming

party in heaven.


	7. Unconsolable

Date: 8-27-2027

Lucas' Point of view

You rock the boat

and I have a lump

in my throat for I

am becoming choked up.

I don't understand how

I can feel this so unhappy

if I am suppose to be

on top of the world.

Tears are starting to

build up inside of me

and I can't rebuild this

broken dam of mine.

The river runs through

me and I can't hide my

frown behind my smile.

I am dying to breathe,

I am dying to be loved.

I am holding out for a

miracle. I am holding

out for a hero, Jesus

who can deliver me from

my enemies so I can make

some new happy memories.

The day I cried was the day

I tried to let my guard down

for once in order to let the

real me to have a chance

to breathe.


	8. Concrete angel

Date: 9-27-2027

Peyton's Point of View

Silent little one without a voice,

my concrete angel, heaven is

in your eyes. Your heart has

wings and I set you free to

breathe on your own terms.

Behind the scenes, you are

bursting at the seams and

all of your dreams become

a reality. Bursting at the

seams, its like undergoing

a birthing at historical portions.

It is only through death and

saying your last breath that

you will be able to find easy

quick solutions for your problems.

Full of grace, a cross now stands in

your place where Jesus once stood.

I find it hard to embrace you in this

space in between us for you are too

much for me to handle. Hallelujah, let

it be, this silence between you and me.

Rest in peace, Lucky Haley Scott, you

are my baby angel.


	9. Keep me in your heart for a while

Date: 10-7-2027

Sawyer's Point of view

In an instant,

I feel so distant

and as small as

an ant. You chant

my name and I am

no longer the same

old boring person.

Your pretty smile

gives me a reason

to stay alive and

survive. Please

keep me in your

heart for a while

for you make me

to be less fragile.

Your encouraging

words follow me

as closely as Jesus

and I don't feel as

low to the ground

as Satan. I can

never escape from

you because you see me

beyond my cape,

my mask. Every time

I am in your presence,

I feel as if I am attending

the prom. You will always

care about me even during

times when I may carry the

seed of hate and have a need

to break away from you from

time to time. Mom, dad and

Aiden, I love you.


	10. You are never alone

Date: 10-27-2027

Lucas' Point of view

Life is a puzzle that is full of many missing pieces,

extinct members of the human species.

Discontinued, the lives of many lost souls may

go on unfinished and unappreciated. Absence

doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it only

makes the world less fuller and prettier. Those left behind

have holes in their hearts that will never be filled.

Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the

morning. In the morning, God's presence is powerful

enough to put an end to the rain and ease the pain of those

in mourning. Life is short, forever gone are the days when things

used to be mediocre. Filled with hope, the heart and mind will

create more new happy memories with each passing day. You

are never alone because there are always angels watching over you

in the place of those who have passed away.


	11. Silence is golden

Date: 11-7-2027

Sawyer's Point of view

Lights out, black out

and say goodnight,

goodbye. No weeper,

no keeper of doves,

old past loves, take

the road not taken

and be not shaken.

Silence is golden, I

don't remember what

I used to be like back

then when I had a

smile on my face.

Born to rebel, I am

Torn and worn out just

like an old piece of paper.

I can hear Satan whisper to me.

Anger eats me up inside,

but I can't breathe outside

my internal abyss. Nobody

cares about what I have to say,

therefore I shut down and

let silence have its way with

me. In my heavenly bliss,

night gives away to daylight,

how can the silence feel so right?.

I hold myself so tight that I might

never have a reason to let myself go.

How can just being numb and going

through the emotions feel so right?.

I recover my innocence as result of living

in silence where I discover inner strength

to help me win this fight against my demons.


	12. The you that I know and don't know

Date: 11-17-2027

Peyton's P.o.v

Most of the time

you show me the side

of yourself that you

you want me to see

in which is your good

side. You act one way

when you are with me then

another way whenever

you are away from me.

I wonder which one is

the real you. The twists

and turns of life break you

down to your essentials giving

me a glimpse of your sensitive

side for once. Captured monarch,

captured arc of the covenant, your

life is an open book and I am not

afraid to read your autobiography.

Hello mister sensitive, you are not

as positive as I thought you were.

Never be whole, there is a hole in

your heart and your problems outshine

the you that I know. The you that I know

is plenty of love, kindness and patience.

I don't understand how you can give so

much of yourself, but still feel so empty

inside. You live to lift up the spirits of

people like me and yet you can't revive

your own downhearted dying spirit. You

have always been there for me. I desire

to help you out for once. The you that I

know is the same you that I don't know,

but do need to get to know from time to

time. Come and be my friend, hold me,

wrap me, unfold me. I am small, I'm

needy, wrap me up and breathe me.


	13. Ashes

Date: 12-20-2027

Lucas' P.o.v

Dark and lovely, the day is gray and cloudy

with a highly chance of thunderstorms and

poisonous deadly worms. Busy, every human

that is living on the earth is a balloon floating

pass me without making an attempt to hug me.

Beautiful and youthful, the day slips away before

I can say I love you. Greatest tearjerker of all time,

committing suicide is a crime that can't be justified.

Irreplaceable and irresistible, silence comforts my

my confused and distressed mind until the wind sweeps

me off my feet. Merciless, cancer is a ballerina dancer

drifting across the universe searching for a dance partner.

In a blink of an eye, sick and dying people quietly slip away

all around the world without telling their friends and loved ones

goodbye. A sea of endless sorrow, dying American soldiers' cries

lingering in the corner of my mind prophesy there will be more

tears and blood to be shed tomorrow. Little white crosses guard

the graves of unborn babies whose names will remain unknown

forever. I wonder where do all of the aborted babies spend an

eternity after they die while I am free to breathe on the earth.


	14. Resurrection

Lucky's p.o.v

God of rebirth,

recreation,

redemption,

resurrection

and restoration

change and

redirect my life.

I am a true believer

and I pray for you

to deliver me from

my enemies.

Sometimes I can

do wrong, but you

still show yourself

strong in me. The

river of love runs

through you, holy

sacred precious

life giver. Bring

on the wonder

and I will ponder

everything that

you tell me into

my heart. I am

never afraid of

the night for you

are my light. All

paths lead straight

to you, my forever

blue sky. OH, how I

long to be like you.


End file.
